BOK's Can't Hurt Me Challenges
Challenge 1 - Bad Hand
I think the idea of the book is to tell your sob story and try to be vulnerable about it so here goes... in bullets
- As a young kid my dad really struggled with alcoholism.
- There was domestic violence at a few points and it was pretty ugly.
- Dad got sober, and then the terrible divorce started when I was 8, made me feel alone and very scared.
- I did not start public school until 4th grade (in the middle of this mess) and could not read very well. Felt stupid.
- Mom asked me to tell the court I wanted to live with her so she could have child support. She was emotionally struggling, the court ended up giving my dad full custody. Have not really seen much of my mom since.
- My best (read: only) friend told me no one liked me and I was lucky he took pity on me in 8th grade.
- One half brother had 2 kids and 4 wives by the time he was in his early 20's. Generally addicted to one white powdery substance or another for his entire life
- Other half brother ended up going to jail for manslaughter for the death of his wife. Out of respect I'll just say that was a mess and broke any sense of trust or confidence I had in my family.
This cocktail of experiences generally made my childhood full of fear and a sense of being lesser than others. As a result, when I get challenged today I go to that place (at least inside) quite often.
Challenge 2 - The Accountability Mirror
Digital version:
- I am not vulnerable with my wife, I trick her into being the bad guy so I can play the victim role I grew up in.
- Drinking more than I should to manage my stress. I tell myself I can (and I do) still perform at a very high level. Ends up making me perform at 80% of my potential at best.
Challenge 3 - Calloused Mind
Bullets:
- I hate putting myself out there, at least what I am actually thinking. I got good at pretending and showing people what I thought they wanted to see and hear. Now I am writing this post on the internet.
- Cold showers and cold water. HATE IT. I now get in the shower right when the water turns on.
- Public speaking. I signed up to be membership chair of my YPO group and now have to speak in front of 60+ CEO's every month. What a terror
- Being vulnerable and a follower to my kick ass wife and letting her know how great she is (because of my mommy issues I think)... we are buying a modestly large company together of which she is the CEO.
Challenge 4 - Taking Souls
Can't articulate details on this site but it is absolutely happening
Challenge 5 - Armored Mind
Marin Headlands 100 mile race
Challenge 6 - The Cookie Jar
- Chicago Marathon in college after partying all night and 2 hours of sleep. Oprah beat met, but I finished
- Paris Marathon
- Jacksonville Marathon with the stomach flu after a night in the hotel bathroom and a fever
- Spending 24 straight hours digging an Abrams tank out of a shale field in Bosnia
- Living in a tent in Bosnia for 11 months, in -20F temperatures some nights
- First half Ironman where my right leg cramped up like a piece of jerky. I did a foam roller type massage every 1/2 mile for the last 6 miles on the cement curb.
- I have never not finished a race I started.
- Dealing with my brother in law stealing millions of dollars from my friends and family and coming out of it clean as a whistle... oh yes and there was that 5 hour session with me, my lawyer the three letter investigating securities commission.
- Ran a 50 miler the year after my dad died, who I found dead in his apartment, after a year of sobriety because I was afraid I would fall victim to the curse of the Irish.
- Our first son being born with a brain birth defect and not knowing what would happen. Thank god he is such a kick ass human today, but we were very, very, very afraid for 8 years.
Challenge 7 - The 40% Rule
The Marin Headlands 100 race training plan. 2138 miles, 11 months. I will run 11 ultras during the training. Said another way, I will run 11 runs that are longer than a marathon in the next 11 months as training to run 100 miles... and that 100 mile race has over 22,820 feet of climbing and 22,820 of decent. For reference, the highest point in the Western Hemisphere is the peak of Aconcagua in Argentina at 22,837 feet. So basically I am going to run 100 miles and while climbing and descending the equivalent of the highest point in the western side of our globe... but I will get there slowly :)
Challenge 8 - Schedule
Working on it
Challenge 9 - Become Uncommon Amongst The Uncommon
I am on a 4 year journey to be a leader of leaders, the Chair of my YPO Chapter of 65 of the baddest ass business leaders I know. Smack dab in the middle of the NFL of business, Silicon Valley
Challenge 10 - Empowerment Of Failure
Will update down the line as this unfolds